One Bird Does Not Make Spring; OR If At First You Don’t Succeed, Redefine Success

So to start off, I wanted to show you some pictures from the Donkey-cart Bar Crawl that I did with my friends. I wrote about this in the last entry, but didn't post the pics:

The donkey-cart

Drinking the local home-brewed beer.
Alyssa, Suzanne, Me, Maria, Raili

9 – 11 May 2014

These few days I’ve spent at our “Close of Service” Conference. This is an event where all of the people that I began my service with journey to one place [Cotonou, and then the beach at Grand Popo], and we discuss how to wrap things up here in country, pin down the dates we’re going to leave, and talk about how we’re going to readjust to moving back home.

It’s been a tumultuous time. At this point, I’ve pretty much everything but declare that I’m not going to stay a third year. It’s been a really hard and wrangling decision. I still don’t know if it’s right. We had a panel discussion with former Peace Corps volunteers. Obviously, the ones that were available to talk to us in Benin were ones that went into development work, which is not necessarily the predominant path for all volunteers. However, for me personally, the development and abroad work is the path that I want, so I tried to really listen to their advice. I was encouraged to hear that the emerging thought on development is actually leaning more towards private investment. Since that lines up with the ideas I discussed in my last blog, this actually works out really well for me. On the other hand, the advice from every person is: “It’s not what you know, but who you know.” This of course, is terrifying for me. I hate networking. It’s the worst. Why can’t my accomplishments just speak for themselves? Why can’t someone, somewhere, just look at my resume, my impeccable writing skills, and realize they would love nothing more than to hire me? Suddenly, I want to stay in Benin, find a job here, and spend the next year schmoozing with embassy folks and USAID, etc workers and making connections. But then I realize that’s also one of the things that I don’t look forward to in doing a third year: becoming enveloped in the ex-pat world. If I stay, I want to hang out predominantly with locals.

The speakers did offer me hope, however, by pointing out that Peace Corps is basically like a huge fraternity. Two of the people currently in Benin moved to DC and slept on a fellow RPCV [Returned Peace Corps Volunteer]’s couch while they searched for a job. They got interviews by reaching out to other volunteers in a job they wanted. So I guess the good news is that I have that, I have College of Charleston Alumni networks, and I have Phi Sigma Pi (my honor’s frat) networks [with a very active alumni member in DC!] So quite honestly, this can work. Right now I’ve been applying to what one might call my “dream jobs”, but I’m sure once being back in America, I might loosen my requirements, and look for a job that could at least begin me on a good path, or even one that can get me back OUT of the country as soon as possible.

I’m also worried about readjustment. I’ve told a few people that I had a culture shock just thinking about the availability of ice and soda from a fountain in America. There are many things that make me not want to go home to the excess, the cold, the processed life of America.

Some presenters and fellow volunteers warn me about people that might ask me “So how as Africa? How was your mud hut? How was living with black people?” Questions, that for many people, might send them into a frenzy over the questioner’s ignorance, or the simple inability to wrap up two very significant and life-changing years into one sentence. I feel blessed, however, that the existence of this blog [as well as social media and Skype, etc] means that the vast majority of people that I care about and people I will run into will know more or less about my experience already, and will be able to ask more specific and non-ignorant questions. I feel blessed that many of my friends/peers have also had this experience—Peace Corps or other programs—that have changed them. That is one thing that we’ve also been warned about, that friends that we’ve left behind really won’t have changed. They’ll be older, maybe have a different marital status, but basically the same person. I, however, know I am a very different person than the one that stepped on a plane in Philadelphia two years ago. But so are my friends, my sisters, and my mom. They’ve been doing Peace Corps or Americorps, or gallivanting across the US, or simply taking some life-altering steps. We have a lot of catching up to do. And I find it thrilling that the people around me will have just as much to share with me as I will with them.

The presenters also offered advice about reflecting on our Peace Corps service. If you’ve read my blog, you’ll know that there have been many ups and downs, projects that I loved, and ones that didn’t go so well. One of the ladies offered the quip: “If at first you don’t succeed, redefine success.” I’ve talked before about how, obviously, I have really lofty goals, but I’ll settle for even making a small difference. And if I do more than that, obviously that’s even better. But even my failures should help me in the future. Continuing with development work, I’ll know certain things that should be avoided.

For the most part, however, the conference has been largely boring. We went over resume-writing, etc, but I’ve been frantically researching that the past month as I suddenly decided to apply to jobs. I simply used my computer and the internet to apply to more jobs.

Nevertheless, we were in Grand Popo, which is a beautiful beach town in Benin. Here are some pictures from the conference:

The view from one of the rooms.

The beach

Alyssa and I chilling

I also had a chance to talk with Yves about my frustration in Kerou, and Peace Corps’ seeming ambivalence to the struggle my life has been. He explained that, of course, PC can’t go around being rude and burning bridges. Which is the opposite of my intentions. I want to burn so many bridges. Too bad all the bridges here are made of stone...

Okay, but I get it. I explained all the reasons that I think no volunteers should be put in my situation ever again. And Yves said something along the lines of he was starting to realize that Hubert was not the upright, helpful, professional person he appeared to be. Which I understand. If you go back and read my blogs from the very beginning of my service, I was enamored by Hubert. I thought we were going to accomplish great things together. He is so good at saying great things. His problem is the follow-through and the outright lying. Yves obviously has much less day-to-day interactions with him, so it just took longer for him to see. I am glad that Yves trusts me to see. Obviously, both of us would love for a volunteer to be able to work in Kerou, because the people there would benefit. But as long as Hubert is there, and there is no one able/willing to work with us, provide real structure, etc, it’s just not even worth it. I told him about the effort I’ve been making, to little avail, and Yves responded in French that, “One bird does not make spring.”

16 May 2014

Every second, my mind changes, regarding my future. Why is this so hard??? Why can’t I just figure out what I want and exactly how to get there? Right now?

I talked with Yves, and we discussed my possibility for my third year of service. I was all prepared to tell him no. I actually talked with the owner of the organization I would potentially work with. It is an organization called La Bel Benin, which buys and sells local products [i.e. neem cream, shea butter, dried fruits, etc] And honestly, the guy didn’t seem too sure of what he would do with me. I offered up that I’m really good at organizing, would be fabulous at helping them come up with an organization system [yes I am my mother’s daughter], that I can crunch numbers for new/ongoing projects, etc. But I don’t have much expertise in the way of drying fruit [a project this organization wants to expand] or looking for export markets, etc. Honestly, it seems like I might learn more from this organization than I have to offer them in concrete skills at the moment. I didn’t know if that would be a good fit.

But then Yves talked about how I could work in their administrative services, as well as going into the field, meeting with producers/suppliers. And this is EXACTLY what I want to be doing in my life. I want to have a business that expands production in developing countries. Maybe not on the baseline level, but at least one that buys from local producers, etc. So maybe this is exactly where I should be. I should be here, have an actual job [instead of dicking around in village, not really accomplishing much]. I should see a real business in a developing country at work, experience the issues they run up against, and try to work with them to find solutions, knowing what I know about village life combined with American consumers and basic marketing skills.

But then I realize this country sometimes makes me miserable. I get mad at people so easily. I very rarely feel truly happy. I’m not healthy. Not at all.

So do I choose career advancement and possibly saving the world, or do I choose my own selfish impulse to go home, curl up in my mom’s basement, DRIVE MY BEAUTIFUL CAR again, and then peace out and crash on my friend’s couch/hammock in Puerto Rico [no, this is real thing] and possibly do some cool entrepreneurship development there? I WOULD GET TO LEARN SPANISH.

I visited a friend here in Benin. Her site is absolutely gorgeous. I live in the north, which is the Sahel. The Sahel is the less-deserty area south of the Sahara Desert. It’s nothing but sand and dried weeds and clay. It’s almost entirely flat, except for a few rocks that jut up from the ground once in a while. But this girl lives in the “Collines” or “Hills” region of Benin. She looks out on beautiful hills in every direction. There is so much green all the time. There are so many palm trees, everywhere. Anyway, the organization she is working closely with has a little office, that is just open on the top floor. The desk just faces out on this beautiful landscape, beside a coconut palm tree, and gets the breeze that floats through. Oh, and did I mention that in one corner of this office, there is a hammock that you can just casually relax in to take a break from work?

Me, in the hammock

The view from the office

 That is what I want. I want that. I want to work in a tropical location. It can be a desk-ish job, as long as I also get to get up from that desk a lot. I want my life to be relaxed and beautiful. That’s all. I think, of course, this will be most easily accomplished by just starting my own business, so I’m my own boss and can make all the decisions about office locations/set-up.

So I think in a year I want to apply to get and MBA. And really either way, I’d make a fabulous candidate. Either I have, I lived in Benin for 3 years, two of which I was pretty much on my own, but still did cool development projects, and one I worked this kick-ass job where I got on-the-ground experience with business development. Or alternatively, the first part is true, but year 3 becomes learning my 3^rd language, and working in a country with entirely different economic needs/issues.  So does it really matter what I do?

This is the part where I wish I believed that god was an entity that actually told you what to do. JUST THIS ONCE, GOD I DON’T WANT FREE WILL. Just this one decision, make for me. K, thanks. No, really.

Don’t you just love giving me money?

So the last thing I’m going to write about for now is another plug for money. With some local volunteers, I am organizing a girls’ camp. It’s really exciting, because this is almost like I’m back at Mar-Lu-Ridge [see, that was another time in my life where I never had any questions about my future. I knew my summer job, every summer, for three years. It was perfect. But I digress.]

There are 6 volunteers organizing the camp for 30 girls. Three of those volunteers, obviously come from Kerou [Maria, Raili, and I]. Then there are three others in the county that is south of us. These are the people that we hang out with a lot, and we thought it would be cool to do this together. Plus, it’s awesome that we are in multiple sectors together. We have an Economic development volunteer [me], a Community Health volunteer [Maria], two Environment volunteers, [Raili, and Will from Oussa], and then two TEFL volunteers, [Ally K, who incidentally is a CofC graduate!, and Ron, who is near Oussa].

So we are all getting together to organize this camp. We’ll have different lessons for these girls [middle-school age] about everything from budgeting to safe sex. We will also talk about girl’s empowerment, and encourage them to take a leadership role in their community. I’m really excited about the project. It will give me a chance to interact with girls like I haven’t before, and hopefully influence a few lives.

So we do need some money for this. And that’s where YOU come in!

I know I recently asked for you money for another cause, so for this one, I’m not asking as much. The amount is less than my other project, and is split between multiple volunteers and their families/friends. So even if you can throw a few dollars my way, that would be SO, SO, SO appreciated.

Thank you once again by everyone’s constant support. I honestly wouldn’t have made it this far without your encouraging words when I’m down, and more just knowing that people know what I’m doing here, and think that I’m doing a good thing, or at least trying. I don’t think I can every express how much it means to know that people are reading my blog, thinking about me, wishing me luck from afar, and so on.

Here is the link for my donating to my project, which is called “Eastern Atacora Girl’s Empowerment Camp 2014”:

https://donate.peacecorps.gov/index.cfm?shell=donate.contribute.projDetail&projdesc=14-680-021

Love you all!

The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly

I know, I know, I haven’t written in ages. Things have been weird, I guess that’s the best I can say. A lot of explanations of why I haven’t written can be found “The Bad” section of this blog. It’s not the most inspiring blog, but it isn’t a depressing drivel either. It’s basically a picture of exactly where I am now.

The Good

So most importantly, the past month or so has not been all bad. Far from it, actually. Number one: Luna had her kittens! Four!

It was quite an interesting experience. I’ve never experienced cat birth; the last time it happened while I was asleep. But early in the morning she started pacing and occasionally meowing like she might be in pain. A weird, dark thing emerged from the place that kittens would come out later. I looked it up, and sure enough this is the first stage of pregnancy. Unfortunately for Luna, that day was market day, and I’d promised to meet up with Raili and run some errands with her, so I made a suitcase of mine all nice and comfortable [lots of towels, etc], threw her in their and told her good luck. When I came back a few hours later, there were three and a half kittens born! I say “half” because one was literally half way out of there, which apparently she forgot in her excitement to greet me. She came out of the room, dragging this half-born kitten with her, and then plopped him out in the middle of the floor. Not long after this, however, she realized what she’d done, and took the mewing mess back to the suitcase. Anyway, even though I wasn’t there for most of it, birthing looks painful and gross, and it’s not at all high on my priority list at the moment [sorry grandmothers…]

However, I am impressed with the knowledge of mothers. Like Luna never read “What to Expect When Your Expecting,” but yet she still knows to push out the kids, chew off the umbilical cord,, and lick the little kittens clean, feed them regularly, and everything. I’m sure there are some body hints, like maybe if it hurts, I should just push until they’re out. But some of the other stuff…it’s just impressive.

But we have four healthy kittens, all with properly functioning tongues, and ravishing appetites. And Luna is such a good mom. She tends to them very regularly. And although some websites said you shouldn’t touch the kittens, I ignored this advice as soon as Luna had properly cleaned them. The websites said this would discourage the mother from carrying for them, but Luna knows my scent, obviously. She would just give me somewhat reproachful “meows” when she saw, but simply licked the kitten clean again when I put it back.

So anyway…zomg kittens!!!!!!!!!! Cute. So cute. I’m a blibbering mess whenever I look at them. And two of them have heart-shaped markings! Hearts! D’awwwww. Actually, all of them are adorable. Three of them—the girls—have the same coloring as Luna, and the one boy has black spots, but so did one of Luna’s sisters. Here’s one million pictures of them:

Just born

Luna with the babies

Aww...

I also had some fun events. I threw a “Beat the Heat: Southern Style” party in Kerou, where we made fried chicken, beans, hushpuppies, fried okra, and mac ‘n’ cheese with VELVEETA. Yumm! And I really did drink my entire bottle of sweet tea vodka (okay, I may have shared some too) It was amazing. And I had tons of fun with my friends, it was a great day. It was nice hanging out with volunteers, discussing our sites, our upcoming plans for Peace Corps / life, and getting a little reminder of America.

Another weekend, I visited a nearby volunteer, and we had a bar-crawl in donkey carts. Yes, you read that correctly. We sat in metal carts attached to donkeys and went from bar to bar. It was really fun and amusing. I was sitting with another girl, and as we were drunkenly curled up in the cart, our friend went to buy more whiskey, and we were getting hit on by guys, she said, “The epitome of class. If only my parents could see me now.”

The project with Constant continues, obviously. I haven’t been back out to the site much. Firstly, because Constant got malaria, so had to spend some time recovering. Then his girlfriend of a few years [who lives in Banikora, two hours north of us] broke up with him. It’s really weird here, because Beninese men can be super emotional. Not in crying, just in really depressing moods and hyperbolic statements. He comes over and tells me that he’s just been lying in bed, with no motivation, and also he thinks he’s done with women, forever. I just want to shake him and yell, “What are you, a teenage girl??? Go eat some ice cream and get over it.” But, of course ice cream doesn’t exist in this part of the country.

But Constant does report that the cucumbers have started really showing, which is exciting news. Additionally, each of the families have brought their chickens to the school, and someone in the community knew how to do that thing where you cut their tendon or something so they can’t fly. So we don’t even need to bring out the veterinarian for that. It’s really moving along. In a few weeks, when there is a break between the small and big rainy season, and the roads are more passable, I’ll got out there again. Right now, they're kind of dangerous.

Finally, due to having more free time [see below], and subsequently reading the Game of Thrones book, I had this awesome epiphany to write a sort of fantasy book, but based more on African culture. For example, as much as I love Tolkien, etc, fantasy books seem to be highly based on European [and specifically British]. There are certain values that are in these books. And even more than that, they often talk about lighter skin colors being more beautiful, more "good"/moral, etc. GoT talks all about "winter". So I've been thinking of writing a fantasy book, but instead of worrying about being cold and scary ice-creatures, the main concern is something like water and droughts, or maybe scary sand-monsters. Anyway, these are just some initial thoughts, and I'm kind of excited about it. It's given me more incentive, too, to try to read more books about African myths, epics, etc. Like I need to get my hands on the novel "Sundiata" which talks about the Mali empire. And I'm going to spend some time maybe researching other aspects, ideas, etc.

The Bad

So my life has also been otherwise boring and in increasing turmoil. What could I possibly mean by this? Well, in summary, things have gotten so bad with my host organization, leading me to have essentially no work and close to zero motivation. So instead, I read all five books of A Song of Fire and Ice, the series on which HBO’s Game of Thrones is based. [I know EVERYTHING that is going to happen next in the TV series, hehehehe]. Anyway, that was no small feat (have you seen the SIZE of these books?), just so you know, but it was very indicative of how much lying in my bed I’ve been doing recently.

Raili and I have had a few more meetings with Hubert, and once with the Premiere Adjoint. And there has been nothing but tension. They both claim that their increased interest in our lives is because Kate Puzey’s parents came to Benin, and they realize they are just SO WORRIED about Raili and I’s security. And in fact, that’s why Raili and I need to inform them of all of our movements, have them approve every person we interact with, etc. It’s frustrating for us, because that’s not at all out problem, we manage to be secure just fine, and apparently have people in village spying on us anyway. But we try to counter with the lack of support we receive from the mayor’s office, which doesn’t help us get work done. And still Hubert and the Premiere Adjoint say that if only WE would communicate more, then we would have all the support we needed. Fuming inwardly, we think of the times we HAVE tried to communicate, and have been repeatedly brushed aside for more important people and more pressing matters. A few weeks ago, then Hubert gave us an official letter from himself that basically said they wanted to end the mayor’s office’s partnership with Peace Corps.

So a few days ago, two peace corps admin came to Kerou to talk with Hubert and the Premiere Adjoint. Raili and I were told that most likely this meeting would result in us being moved from Kerou sometime in the next few months, because working in such a clearly hostile environment wouldn’t be good. But all that happened was that Peace Corps had this meeting, concluded that it didn’t really seem like anyone was that upset, and actually they just care SO MUCH about us, and we just need to establish better communication, and everything will be fine. Okay, good luck, bye.

In conclusion, the mayor’s office offers no support, but still wants us to do work, so really when nothing gets done, it’s all my and Raili’s fault. It's really frustrating, but I intend on just plodding along with the work I am doing, finding the support elsewhere, and not caring if I don't live up to the mayor's office's weird expectations.

Actually, this really changes nothing for me. I haven’t had much support from my host organization since the beginning, and yet I’ve managed to get plenty done. I do think about how much more I could have done in a better situation, but that’s not even worth thinking about. I’m proud of what I’ve accomplished, and there are plenty of other people in my village that appreciate me. So I plan to finish out my time in Kerou just doing what I’ve been doing, and get done whatever I can.

Then, of course, I have the required existential or whatever crisis for what I’m doing with my life. I don’t know if it’s been inspired by this latest turmoil, or if it is completely unrelated. It just could be that I’ve reached my breaking point with this country, or who knows. I’ve talked about doing a third year in Benin for a year and a half now, but suddenly, this has been called into question. I’m not sure if I want to be here for another year, still making a terrible salary, but living in Cotonou with ex-pats who make crazy amounts of money, and spend ridiculously. I don’t think if I want to deal with these two guys who harass me on my phone (one repeatedly invoking JUSUS (sic) CHRIST as the reason why I should sleep with him. His reasoning was that Jesus said, “ask and is shall be given” and HE’S ASKING ME TO GIVE IT UP TO HIM, so therefore I have to give my vajayjay to him #logic). I don’t know if I want to deal with another year of intestinal issues and constant brushes with death.

But then my neighbor is ridiculously grateful for some croissants I brought her for watching Luna. Then my artisan group is so excited for the lesson on budgeting I’m teaching. Then I look over my back wall to a phenomenally gorgeous sunset. Then I think about how much free time I have to myself and my self-betterment (hypothetically).

Nevertheless, once I started thinking about moving home, I can’t stop thinking about driving my car again (oh how I miss it), sitting on real toilets ALL THE TIME, and the lack of cockroaches. And more than that, actually having nice things in my life again, not worn clothing covered in dirt that will never come out, plastic cups that have handles broken off, and really everything that isn’t at this point worth replacing because it’s just going to get instantly dirty and ruined, because I live in a cement house in the Sahel full of dust.

I mean, seriously, what if I made real money, had a real structured job, the ability to take out restraining orders (no really, I fantasize about this)? I just don’t what I want in my life. I mean, I have an idea of what I want in the vague future, but right now, the next year? What is my next step?

The hardest part is that I don’t think I’ve ever been in this much inner turmoil before. I’ve always had a really clear path in front of me. I applied to ONE college, early, and got in, so I didn’t bother applying anywhere else, because I wouldn’t have gone anywhere else. I knew since I was five that I would go to France, and I did sophomore year, but by that time I was falling in love with Africa, so applied to study abroad in Senegal, and did that a year and a half later. I applied to start PhD programs in history, but didn’t get in. I didn’t mind though, and was determined to instead move home, work at a restaurant and apply for “real” aka 9-5 jobs until I got one. But within a month or so of being home I decided to do the Masters International/ Peace Corps program, and I subsequently did that. Do you see a pattern here? [Hint: it’s “Decide à Do”] But NOW, I’ve been determined to do a third year, and then *gasp* have started questioning that choice, but I have no idea what I actually want to do. I think this is literally the most stressed I have ever been in my life.  I’ve always valued my independence, but seriously, can’t someone for once just make this decision for me? K, thanks

(NO SERIOUSLY FEEL FREE TO LEAVE FEEDBACK IN THE COMMENTS OR EMAIL ME. I NEED HELP. SO MUCH HELP)

The Ugly

I may have talked to some of you about the following things before, but I’m not sure if I’ve written it down all together. Anyway, it’s amazing what two years of living in the backwoods of foreign country can accomplish. I am no longer the idealist many of you might see me as. Okay, I’m still a little bit of an idealist. I have big dreams for myself and big hopes for humanity. But a lot of my values have changed of late.

Firstly [and please make sure you’re sitting down for this one], I have actually become MORE of a capitalist. I’ll just let that one sink in. But in short, I think enterprise could be so much more effective at affecting change in developing countries than NGOs. Now, on the other side, this does not in any way mean that I have become less of a socialist. I know that doesn’t seem to make sense, but to me it does. I still believe that countries [US and developing countries] should have a decent minimum wage, limited work hours, laws that protect workers, and many other regulations for enterprise. I believe in a progressive tax system, and in government investment in infrastructure. That’s not pure socialism, obviously, but more of a mixed-market economy leaning towards socialism that I’ve always believed in.

So really it’s with NGOs that I’ve become disenchanted. NGOs, the pure beacons of do-gooding that is supposed to save the world. And while those perhaps focusing on human rights and social movements for the betterment of society, I believe still have a good role to play, provided of course that we monitor them. But NGOs and Foreign Aid are often harmful to Africa and other developing nations. I think they are, in general, doing more harm than good.

“BUT SHANNON,” you say, “You just asked me to give you money so that you could carry out an aid-project in that school!”

Yes, I know. And actually, that project is one of the best I think I’ve executed while I’ve been here. For example, my irrigation project, while highly appreciated, is already straying from its original intention, and despite my supervisor’s promises to expand it, it looks as though this will not actually happen.

But the School Improvement project has been awesome. I injected a little capital, and the community [led by the Director, Constant] made all the decisions on how to spend it. Additionally, Constant asked the community to contribute some of their own money when my grant came up short in a particular category. His reasoning was that he didn’t want the community to become to used to just receiving money and not having to put anything in. When I leave, he points out, he wants to be able to do some new project, and be able to rely on the community to help monetarily, as well as contributing the manual labor that they were doing already. Plus this project has a built-in sustainability aspect. Money will be used from the cornfield to keep it going.

On the other hand, however, a lot of this should have been the government. Benin should be paying for its schools and its teachers [we are actually in the midst of a months-long strike, because teachers have not been paid for much longer than that.] I am happy for the opportunity that you all and I got to make in the lives of these children. I am fairly confident that the lives of the children will be the better for their chance to learn in an equipped school and receive nutritional meals. But why wasn’t their government giving that?

Aid creates a culture of dependence. It creates a world where more well-off nations dump their second-hand items, and left-over supplies and pat themselves on the back. They send old shirts [or shirts with the incorrect superbowl champion on them] or second-rate shoes. Africa becomes a trash dump where we toss whatever we don’t want anymore, and then we’re shocked when it’s so dirty.

It creates a dependency where people expect to be told how to spend their money. Did you know that actually if you hand a poor person a stack of money, they are likely to spend all or most of it on wise purchases, use it to feed their families or invest in a small endeavor? But instead, we choose what people get. We have no idea what life is like here [I have a slightly idea in Peace Corps], but we send them money with conditions. You can only buy a cow with this. You can build a hospital, but you can’t provide family planning information, or at least definitely not abortion. You will use this money to grow cabbage. And this money to build a shea butter facility. We will come and build you this road. But you know what happens? The cow gets left with the Peul, whose job it is to herd cattle, and maybe they decide to sell it off for their own profit, rather than the profit of the family it was intended for. I mean, it was free, so what does it matter? The hospital would be more able to treat people if there weren’t as many pregnant girls. The cabbage never gets grown, because no one in the community actually eats that much cabbage. The shea butter facility doesn’t have the budget to pay people to actually run the machines, so it remains locked. The road crumbles after a few years of heavy use, but whoever built it has already moved on to the next country, and never gives another thought to the hunk of tar they laid down.

That is why I say I’m more capitalist now. Aid organizations just have to fill out numbers of people the hypothetically helped, with some flimsy evidence to back it up. Or maybe they have a requirement for how many hectares of agriculture have increased yields, again with flimsy evidence. They plop down an idea, tell the community good luck, and peace out. But an actual company, they can’t do that. They do have to worry about the bottom line. If they want to produce mango juice [or better yet, mango wine!] they can’t just plop down a juice-factory and hope for the best. They have to be there, make sure the center is operational, efficient, and produces high-quality products, and that the manager isn’t stealing.

Of course, my ideal isn’t a bunch of companies that ONLY focus on the bottom line. We need ones who also support their workers, and their local economy. Ones that maybe focus on production in the country that is the source of materials [rather than shipping things off to China or India, for example].

We don’t need to ask for better aid programs; we need to ask for better governments. We need governments that protect their workers, so that these incoming companies don’t exploit them. We also need governments that build infrastructure so that companies can operate more efficiently. We need a port in Benin that isn’t rampant with corruption. We need the governments in Africa and other developing countries to DO THEIR JOBS. Like education, public health, and safety and security for its citizens. They need to spend less time begging western nations for money, and subsequently spending that money in ways to get themselves as many votes as possible. We need real, good governance.

And we need organizations to come here with a concrete, money-making purpose in mind. Ex-pat workers [and even people like myself] would feel much more invested in this country if we knew our own livelihood depended on it. If we would get less money when our endeavors failed. If we knew we needed good roads to get our product to market. If we knew we needed to live here and want to be safe and healthy. We need political stability. Companies should be invested in their local economies. And all too often, NGOs simply exist to whip through, plop down a pre-conceived notion, and hurry off before they get too dirty. And then they get to collect their paycheck from a western organization.

Anyway, that’s the jumble of thoughts that I’ve had running through my mind as of late. I hope they at least make you think. And, again, any feedback/thoughts are welcome.

School Improvement Project Update

17 February 2014

These are my first updates regarding the School Improvement project that you all have donated to.

I finally signed up to get electronic notices for my bank account. It really makes sense, as I live so far away, so it’s always good to know if there’s actually money in there. I’d been expecting the money for a bit, and finally Tuesday I got a message that it had been deposited. So Wednesday, I hopped on a moto taxi and went to Nati. The next day I went to the bank, and pulled out, well A LOT of cash (this grant, the track and field grant, and my monthly allowance) I felt SO nervous walking around, especially because I was carrying more cash than I even have in my personal bank account at home. I spent some time at the workstation printing out papers for my work in Kerou, etc. Then Friday I took the direct taxi back to Kerou (because I felt like this was less exposed than a moto). We made it without incident, and I immediately ran to my trunk and locked the money in there.

I really like this project, because it’s a lot of pressure off me. The professor I am working with, Constant, is the one organizing it, and running around getting supplies, talking with people etc. It goes a lot smoother when I’m not fumbling around, praying for the best, but when someone who actually has the full vision as well as the plan for getting it all done is running the show. It’s so much better to work with someone who actually invested and willing to contribute. Plus I think back to the quote I posted over a year ago that “Our job is not to be a hero, but to make heroes.” In my irrigation project, it was nice (in a self-serving kind of way) plopping down an irrigation system for the women and having them thank me. But in this case, Constant gets to be appreciated by the community in which he’s working. Obviously, Constant knows that all this would be impossible without me and my wonderful family and friends that I have told him about. But I also have more confidence in the sustainability of this project, because the whole community is involved, at Constant’s behest (the parents will be doing this like gathering sand to mix with the cement, collecting wood for the tools handles, building storage facilities for the corn, growing the corn, donating the chickens, etc, etc). The community is making their own improvements, with the help of some previously unavailable capital.

The first thing we did was to get copies of the teacher manual made. Constant has said that teaching has been really hard for the other teachers at the school, since they have never really taught, and therefore don’t know the material, etc. Constant has taught for enough years that he kind of has the concepts and order memorized.

Next Constant brought a carpenter to my house who is going to make all the tables for the school. He’d already discussed some with the carpenter, but I think wanted to discuss this in front of me. The carpenter said it would take three weeks to make all the tables, but Constant is pressuring him to make it happen sooner. We gave him the advance in order to buy the wood he would need. Then, today, we went by his shop to check out the progress. So far he’s just got some of the wood cut up, and was at the sawmill getting the rest, but hopefully they will be turning into tables soon.

Also, we’ve bought cement to make the blackboards, and Constant himself actually drove the cement bags to the school (which is quite far). He’s kind of impatient for everything to be done (or in the case of the garden, etc, at least started). We also walked around today to different shops trying to find the supplies like rakes, shovels, watering cans, etc, for the garden. But in Kérou, supplies can be so sporadic. Someone that had them months when we were writing the grant may not have them today. Tomorrow we will go to market and get everything we can only get on market days. We’re trying to get as much as we can in Kérou, but we might have to go to Nati for some things. Luckily Constant has a conference there next week, so we’ll be able to get stuff in a timely manner.

In conclusion, we’re at the beginning stages, but everything is ready just to take off. I’m so excited, and will definitely start posting pictures as things start coming together.

7 March 2014

My project with Constant is progressing nicely. In fact, the vast majority of the money has been spent, so now we’re just waiting for things to start growing. All that really remains is the funds for the cornfield, which we can’t even start until June, when the rainy season begins. I just want to reiterate how much I enjoy working with Constant. There were some things where the price changed to be more expensive, and even though I eventually informed him that I had extra money [I think due to the conversion rate into CFAs], he insisted on getting the parents to contribute. He explains to me that he needs to “train” the parents into parting with their money occasionally, to better the school. That way, in the future, when I’m gone, he won’t have problems getting help with further improvements.

One example of this was that firstly, because you wonderful people gave me more money than I originally requested, we decided to cement the inside of the school [walls and floor], which makes it sturdier and more easy to clean, and thus more hygienic. However, we didn’t have enough money to pay the mason, so Constant is getting the parents to contribute to that cause. But for now, we have nice new walls, and an actual blackboard! The floor will be coming shortly. Additionally, all of the school desks are finished; they are simply awaiting to be transported [not exactly an easy feat].

Finally, a blackboard!

 We also got some simple supplies from market, such as plastic containers for water. Now the kids can get drinks right in the classroom.

We also went and got seeds for the garden, and we got the supplies [rake, shovel, watering cans, etc] from Natitangou. The children constructed a fence made of simple bamboo-like materials, and have started the garden. It’s only in its beginning stages, obviously. I think it’s really cute the way it’s been organized, which is that two children are each responsible for one gardening bed, which contains one or two plants. They even have little signs that mark their names.

Constant, outside the garden

Freshly sown garden beds

The chicken coop is under construction. Originally, we had thought of making the entire enclosing wall of grillage, but now the community has built the first meter height out of mud. This significantly cuts our cost for the screen, so we’ll be able to use the extra money for other costs, relating to the chickens or the garden or something. I am really content with how this project is going! It’s really progressing faster than I can imagine, and I can’t wait to see how it keeps going in the upcoming months.

the chicken coop; in progress

I just wanted to say thank you to everyone again for your contributions. This has been an amazing project to work on, and it simply would not have been possible without you.

Game of Thrones: Beninese Style

Sunday, 2 February 2014

So, I had an epiphany about what I want my first meal to be upon returning to the US. I’ve had a really hard time coming up with it, because I am pretty content with, say, rice and beans, and really thought I missed nothing. Or, well, nothing that I could fit into a concept of a meal, i.e. ALL THE FRUITS AND VEGETABLES. And cheese. Additionally I have become a really awesome cook lately, which means I’ve been able to fix myself things from scratch, like pizza and tacos, (even making my own guac, salsa, and queso fresco). But hanging out with Ryan and Allison—who are great companions in being unabashed about food—I finally figured one of the things out, and since then have actually managed to plan my whole first day of food. The results:

Breakfast: I want a bagel. Just a plain bagel, with loads of cream cheese, sliced cucumbers on top, and dotted with Sriracha. STOP GIVING ME A WEIRD LOOK.

Morning Snack: Kiwi and Strawberries.

Lunch: Salad. A huge, colorful, fresh, gorgeous salad. With lots of fresh BROCCOLI, iceberg lettuce, spinach, carrots, cucumbers, tomatoes, avocado and apple. Onions, mushrooms, and LOTS of RED PEPPERS (those three having been sautéed and then cooled). All tossed in a tangy Catilina dressing. And Sriracha.

Dinner: I want to go to the MAIN CUP and get cheesy crab dip appetizer, with extra pita slices, and then a buffalo chicken sandwich (in a wrap, not on bread). With fries, obviously.

This is my perfect food day. Madre, take notes. Have all of this ready for me, thanks.

Monday, 3 February 2014

So yesterday, the plumber-guy for my irrigation system came back. There were parts we needed to change, i.e. parts that would have been fine if Hubert had helped me figure things out in the first place. We installed a counter, which Hubert said was never needed. Then we installed new doohickeys that changed the size of the PVC pipe where it exited into the hose, so as to match the size of hose that Hubert finally decided on getting. Anyway, there’s still a few more things that need to be done, all of which, again, Hubert said we wouldn’t need.

Hubert, however, as usual, is nowhere to be found. Apparently a huge delegation of important people (ministers?) arrived in Kérou, and he’s showing them around. He promises to meet the plumber at his office at 8AM. When I roll up at 8:45 (I was not informed of the meeting until about 8) Hubert is still not there. And his phone is out of service area. We finally get a hold of him around 9:30, when he sends someone else to help him.

So we make it to Fétékou. The plumber stops by the garden, while Issa (the guy Hubert sent) and I go to Fétékou to get digging tools and bodies to dig.

This time, people are actually in village (the harvest season is over). There is some music playing, and I wonder what sort of ceremony it is, until I most unfortunately look over and see a row of women holding their sons with bloody penises and realize it is a circumcision day of sorts. (Also, the child that lives next door to me always wears a shirt but no pants, so I got back from Ghana/Togo, and immediately noticed that he was recently circumcised.) There are so many things in this country that I want to un-see. As a sidenote, however, the guys I was working with discussed this later, and mentioned that FGM, or female circumcision/excision, is non-existent in this area. I don’t think that’s true, but they did say that parents were definitely informed of the evils of such a practice. I haven’t really dealt with this issue at all here. Never talked about it, or anything with locals. I do know that it’s something that goes on here, more than those guys were saying. But it’s good to hear the public feeling had, for the most part turned against it.

So, anyway, I try to keep it together with this scene going on around me. I convince some women to come to the garden, asap, although it turned out the plumber just dug by himself anyway. The women investigated what we’d already installed, and then watched the plumber work. He finally got the pipe uncovered, then cut off the PVC plumbing that came out of the hole. He turns the knob, and water shoots out briefly into the ground. This startles Salimatou, the Vice President, and my favorite woman in Benin. I laugh at her, and they she wags a finger at me playfully, laughs, and says “Batoori” a lot, but Issa was too busy watching to plumber work to translate. After a while, the women wander off, back into town. The plumber tells me that we need an additional size of PVC plumbing, which Hubert told him was totally available in Kérou. Plus, there is a problem with the nozzle-sprayer-things I had made, namely that they’re not the right size for the hose.

So I suggest that while the plumber is doing his work that doesn’t require the pieces we must go search for, then instead of staring at him, Issa and I should go run errands related to the project. This takes some time to motivate. (What? We should… multitask? Guys, it’s not multi-tasking if it’s multiple people).

So anyway, we go see solder, and show him size the nozzle attachment should be. He points out that this was exactly the size he showed Hubert, but Hubert told him to go bigger. “I know,” I say sighing. I mean, I didn’t know, but I believe it.

Then we go to the only place in town that I know sells hardware-esque things. “It is finished,” I am told. “We had it, but no more.” However, I discover that the boss is coming back to Kérou today. Possibly with this very thing that I am looking for. But they’re not sure. “So…can you call him?” I ask. But the guys working say, “Well, but what would we ask him? ‘Are you bringing the black thing that looks like this?’ “ They don’t know what it’s called. But, if I come back in two hours, the boss will be there.

I come back in two hours, and he is there. Without the thing I needed. He can order it, but it won’t be here for a week. Defeated, I return to the worksite.

The plumber and his coworker are lying in the shade. They have finished the first part of the work, and the women brought them a meal. They ate it and are just chilling now. I explain to them what has happened, and I ask about the second set of parts they needed to install. “Yeah, we glued them, and they were drying. We were JUST going to go start that.”

Sure you were.

So while they are doing this I walk around the garden and talk with the plumber. We decide that quite honestly, I could do the final step. I’ve been watching the plumber work, and all this very last step would require would be to cut up some plastic pipe, put glue on it, and stick it in another piece of pipe.

After this, the women arrive, and we confirm that we’ll do a little demonstration/training next Sunday. Then Issa and I leave to go back to Kérou. Hubert finally sends a message that he’s in coverage area, so I call him and explain what’s going on. When I get to the part about there not being a final piece, he’s worried. He asks me if I checked this other place. “What other place?” I wonder. Hubert seems very agitated.

The next morning, I meet up with Hubert, and he explains that he found the missing piece, so he’s totally rushing in to save the day (again). A day late. Apparently, he is holding the plumber hostage (the guy wanted to go home last night, but Hubert refused to pay him, even though I was already planning to do the final installation part.) Also, there is a few things left that we must buy, almost all of which are things that I COULD HAVE put in my original grant, except someone named Hubert either said they weren’t needed, or just didn’t really help me figure the situation out at all. The hoses are the only thing I claim responsibility for messing up. And I’ve managed to figure out ways to reduce the price anyway, with a bit of finagling. Plus I actually put some of my own money into the solder’s work, despite the fact that Hubert was the one that actually told the guy the wrong size in the first place.

Hubert: “So what are we going to do about the rest of this money?”

Me: “Umm, I don’t know.”

Hubert: “So, you can help us find this money, right? I found the $180 needed for the plumber today. You can find the remaining $130.”

Me: “I already helped you find $1,600. These are unforeseen expenses. It’s just the way grants work. You can’t go back and ask for a little more money”

Hubert: “Yes, but Peace Corps must understand that things come up! Just apply for a new grant!”

Me: “Well, firstly, that isn’t really possible, and secondly, it would take over two months.”

Hubert: “Well you have friends, right? Write to them and explain. They will send you money.”

Me: “But Peace Corps forbids family and friends from sending me money directly. It has to be done through PC.” (Plus, I fail to mention that I’ve just asked you wonderful people for money for another cause, so…)

Hubert: “Well Peace Corps doesn’t have to know…”

So, anyways, that was a very productive conversation (not). I’m still frustrated by the fact that Hubert made so many promises to me at the beginning of this project that the mayors office and the Union of Women’s Gardening Groups would help me out, if there were funds I couldn’t get from Peace Corps. Maybe he needed more warning, but at this point he’s had a month. The mayor’s office gets supplies for gardeners all the time. And furthermore, if Hubert had answered my calls when I needed him, I would technically have the money to give him, as I would have been able to finagle things more than I can now.

I know Hubert is super busy. The man does not stop working and schmoozing, trying to develop his part of the country. I mean, he spent all day Sunday showing around some sort of “foreign” (although that could just mean Beninese, but not from Kérou) dignitaries. But I feel like through a lot of this, he has been unhelpful, and then blamed me. Also made some promises that he doesn’t keep. It’s super frustrating. The good thing is, however, that the project moves along. Hubert is really motivated to finish this (he’ll look good, because he’ll tell the women it was all the mayor who did this). So I just have to make him realize that I can’t find the funds, he’ll dig them up somewhere, and then we’ll be done. Insha alla.

Onto other work… You remember the Savings and Loan group I started (gave Mom and Bob matching outfits)? I’ve been trying to get them together to elect an executive committee, but each week, only a few people show up. Some people are low on cash, so they can’t pay their dues, or simply don’t want to anymore. I keep telling people they can come and not pay, but to no avail. So finally this week, after everyone shows up late, and we collect all the dues, it’s been an hour. It’s only half of the registered members. The By-laws say we have to have 2/3 there, but after a long discussion, we decide we don’t care, and will go with it. So we elect the members by consensus. Or I assume that was what happened. It was all in Bariba; all I did was start clapping when everyone else did, and then later Dennis read to me the list of names of people that had been elected. I am super happy too, because the President and one other member of the committee are women. Which is actually about equal to the female presence in the group, percentage-wise. Next week we are going to start giving out loans, and hopefully once people hear we are giving out money, they will start coming more (though, of course, they’ll have to prove they truly can pay weekly dues before they get to take out a loan.) So that is moving along, yay!

Monday, 17 February 2014

As usual, my experience continues to be ups and downs.

The irrigation system is complete, except for the encasement of the water counter. This is necessary to prevent unauthorized people from using the water and not paying for it. At this point, there really isn’t anything I can do, except sit back and wait for Hubert to figure it out. I’m pretty much avoiding him, though, because I don’t want him to ask me for money. I know that not having the enclosing structure could wreak havoc on the situation, mostly if someone decides to come by and steal the water, and then there is a huge argument over who should pay for this. Hubert keeps insisting the women will pay a flat rate. This, however, conflicts with the current system where Dennis collects the money for the water usage in the name of some elusive farmer. I’ve tried to explain to him that the system could still work, just minus whatever the women use. But somehow, this is unacceptable, and apparently there will be some conference of all the people involved with water and gardening at the mayor’s office. I probably won’t be invited, but that doesn’t matter, since it will most likely all be in Bariba anyway.

I’ve been talking to Peace Corps about the situation, and today the second-in-command of my “Community Economic Development” sector (Tiburce) came by Kerou. We talked about the issues I’ve been facing, and then he went off to a meeting with Hubert, and basically told him that Hubert was responsible for finding all of the rest of the funds. I had checked with Peace Corps policy, and found there was a very, very slim possibility of receiving additional funding. This happens in very rare circumstances, I think usually when there is a dramatic, unforseeable surge in prices between when the grant was submitted and when the funding was received. I didn’t really want to give Hubert the satisfaction of me finding the money for him, however, I really do want this project to work out for the women. For the most part, however, Peace Corps has been alarmed by the way that Hubert seems to view me (and my friends/family by extension) as simply potentially limitless supply of money. I mean, Hubert’s job is basically to schmooze with any and every NGO working in Benin, and convince them to pay for a project in the gardens. So he’s just trying to continue that with me.

The biggest problem was that when the plumber finished his second round of work (for which Hubert—not I—had invited him), Hubert told him that I would be the one paying him. So the plumber just asks me, “so, when do I get my money?” This surprises me, and I have to explain that I have no such money, that Hubert will be paying him. I feel bad, though, because this is a project that I’ve started. And when it was in my control, I paid the plumbing technician promptly. Now he has returned to Nati without even getting reimbursed for the supplies that he paid for out of his own pocket. Tiburce, however, has informed Hubert that the mayor’s office must find the rest of the funding, and he will be following up to make sure this is done. So I am even more hopeful that this will be complete, and soon.

Not that I am in a rush anymore. I had been working to start a chicken-raising project as soon as this one was complete. You probably know; I’ve been talking about it for over a year. However, I am now forbidden from working with Pierre on any project at all.

This is a really, really crummy situation. Basically, the Premier Adjoint has made it his mission that no one should even appear to be giving Pierre a job, or working with him, or even talking to him. He saw Raili walking down the street with Pierre, and soon after came up to her in a bar, and yelled at her. Actually yelled at her. There is something about Pierre’s uncle running for a mayor-related post (in elections that were, by the way, supposed to have taken place months ago, but country-wide have been postponed indefinitely). So the P.A. calls Pierre his “political assassin” even though Pierre is doing nothing politically.

Anyway, this guy’s behavior is really out of control, but Peace Corps wants to stay out of anything political, which I guess means letting someone on a power trip get away with whatever he can yell about loudly enough. I do get Peace Corp’s position. They want to keep me safe, and they want to make sure that I can still be effective in my position. Seeing as what this guy is doing to stonewall Pierre, he could possibly try to step in and do that for anything I want to do. (Oh, wait, actually he is.) It’s weird because I have never, ever met the guy, and I’m not sure if he’s ever seen me. He lives in Raili’s village, Brignamaro, however, so she has to deal with him plenty. But his temper-tantrums have apparently been effective enough so that volunteers can no longer work with the one guy in the commune of Kérou that actually goes out of his way to help us. It infuriates me that I have to give into this guy. Again, I get Peace Corp’s position, but it just makes me feel like we’re giving into evil, or something.

I missed the helpfulness of Pierre most the day that I was showing the women how to use the irrigation system. They had promised to gather everyone Sunday for the demonstration. It’s really hard to get people organized, so I figured I only had one shot. I had been talking to Issa the whole week about him helping me translate (even though he seemed to be miffed about having to work on a Sunday). Saturday, however, he tells me that his moto is broken, but he’s going to talk to Hubert about possibly borrowing one of his. Sunday morning, Issa calls and says that Hubert’s moto is broken too. He thinks that he can drive his moto, if it’s just him. So I should ride my bike to Fétékou, and he’ll meet me there.

I arrive at 9AM, after a harrowing bike ride. (The road to Fétékou is currently under repair, as I’ve mentioned before, which means there are areas filled with sand, others with rocks, and other places where you actually have to go off the path through the woods. Of course, no one is there. And Fétékou does not have cell phone reception, so I can’t call Issa to demand where he is, or anyone else. A little before 10, the women start trickling in. They kind of sit around, waiting for the others to show up. I can greet them, but that’s as far as our conversation goes. A group of guys arrive. They inform me that they have been hired by the mayor’s office to build a well. Right in the middle of the garden where I just built an irrigation system. At this point I feel like stamping my feet in frustration. Hubert knows that I’m doing this. Why wouldn’t he bring this up at whatever mayor-staff-meeting? (Do those things even exist?) It is a waste of my time and everyone else’s just to put two watering systems in the EXACT SAME PLACE.

I keep my calm, however, and chat with these guys. I explain the work I’ve been doing, and ask them why the mayor wants them to build a well here. One suggests that maybe it’s a back-up plan; like in case the system I’ve brought here is broken. That’s stupid. If my system is broken, then you call someone to fix it. But as we talk more, the guy explains that there are two spots where the wells have been started, but they only are here to dig one of them. One well is literally dead center of my irrigation system. The other, however, is at the far edge. So I happily suggest that they choose the second one. The garden is a 5-hectare plot, but what I’ve installed only covers 1/2 hectare. (The plan is for the women and the mayor’s office to expand it over time). This well still falls within the garden area, but would cover space that my irrigation system does not. I feel really, really lucky that I was here this day, so we could work out this issue, and most importantly communicate so that work didn’t get duplicated.

I still have the very pressing issue, however that I am here to demonstrate this irrigation system, but I have no one to translate for me. The guys that are here to install the well are from somewhere else, and therefore don’t speak Bariba. However, apparently, someone decided I should have at least some luck in this country, and up roles a guy (Igance, pronounced “Yance”) that works with Hubert. He is showing a guy from some NGO around to sites they might possibly invest in. So I casually approach Igance, and explain to him about missing Issa, and suggest that maybe he can go to a coverage-area and call Issa and/or Hubert and help me figure this out. The NGO guy, however, is like, “well, if you need some help, we can just stick around for a little bit.” I am so happy that this guy is willing to give up some of his time to wait around. And he knows it may even mess up his later plans, but he just offers to help me. Or, rather, sit by as Igance translates for me. So we round up all the women who are wandering around the garden, and I begin my demonstration. It’s mostly really simple. I just show them how to attach and detach the hose from the PVC plumbing. Because of the water-pressure, they also have to use a metal fastener to tighten the hose around the PVC pipes. I show them how to work the valves, and then suddenly we have water.

The women start cheering, and one runs over to the end of the hose, where water is spilling out. She immediately turns the hose on other women who have run up after her, playfully spraying them with this fountain of water. Then the other women demand the hose, and she drops it and sprints away, laughing. I thought it was a cute moment, almost a indication to me that apparently spraying-friends-with-hoses is a universal impulse. Raili later joked however, “Yeah, it took them literally a millisecond to decide that now that water just comes out with ease, they can waste it with impunity.” They’ve spent their whole lives carrying water in buckets on their head, and now all it takes is a turn of a valve.

Women spraying each other

I think this day was definitely a highlight for me. It is really great to see a project work out and for the women to be so excited about it. There are still some minor details to finish up with, but I am working on those.

Posing with some women from the Fetekou Gardening Group

So moving on to other projects. I’m doing a really small one with Constant that involves having a Track & Field competition among the various high schools in the area. This is the same kind of thing I did last year, with the handball tournament. Winning students will get school supplies, plus they have a fun time getting to compete in sports.

High Jump

Long Jump

Also, my Savings and Loans group gave out their first round of loans, which is really exciting. I want them to be thoroughly educated on the accounting process for every step before I leave, and this is a really important one.

And now, FINALLY, the project you’ve all been waiting to hear about: the School Improvement project that you all have donated to.

I finally signed up to get electronic notices for my bank account. It really makes sense, as I live so far away, so it’s always good to know if there’s actually money in there. I’d been expecting the money for a bit, and finally Tuesday I got a message that it had been deposited. So Wednesday, I hopped on a zem and went to Nati. The next day I went to the bank, and pulled out, well A LOT of cash (this grant, the track and field grant, and my monthly allowance) I felt SO nervous walking around, especially because I was carrying more cash than I even have in my personal bank account at home. I spent some time at the workstation printing out papers for my work in Kerou, etc. Then Friday I took the direct taxi back to Kerou (because I felt like this was less exposed than a moto). We made it without incident, and I immediately ran to my trunk and locked the money in there.

I really like this project, because it’s a lot of pressure off me. Constant is the one organizing it, and running around getting supplies, talking with people etc. It goes a lot smoother when I’m not fumbling around, praying for the best, but when someone who actually has the full vision as well as the plan for getting it all done is running the show. It’s so much better to work with someone who actually invested and willing to contribute. Plus I think back to the quote I posted over a year ago that “Our job is not to be a hero, but to make heroes.” In the irrigation project, it was nice (in a self-serving kind of way) plopping down an irrigation system for the women and having them thank me. But in this case, Constant gets to be appreciated by the community in which he’s working. Obviously, Constant knows that all this would be impossible without me and my wonderful family and friends that I have told him about. But I also have more confidence in the sustainability of this project, because the whole community is involved, at Constant’s behest (the parents will be doing this like gathering sand to mix with the cement, collecting wood for the tools handles, building storage facilities for the corn, growing the corn, donating the chickens, etc, etc). The community is making their own improvements, with the help of some previously unavailable capital.

The first thing we did was to get copies of the teacher manual made. Constant has said that teaching has been really hard for the other teachers at the school, since they have never really taught, and therefore don’t know the material, etc. Constant has taught for enough years that he kind of has the concepts and order memorized.

Next Constant brought a carpenter to my house who is going to make all the tables for the school. He’d already discussed some with the carpenter, but I think wanted to discuss this in front of me. The carpenter said it would take three weeks to make all the tables, but Constant is pressuring him to make it happen sooner. We gave him the advance in order to buy the wood he would need. Then, today, we went by his shop to check out the progress. So far he’s just got some of the wood cut up, and was at the sawmill getting the rest, but hopefully they will be turning into tables soon.

Also, we’ve bought cement to make the blackboards, and Constant himself actually drove the cement bags to the school (which is quite far). He’s kind of impatient for everything to be done (or in the case of the garden, etc, at least started). We also walked around today to different shops trying to find the supplies like rakes, shovels, watering cans, etc, for the garden. But in Kérou, supplies can be so sporadic. Someone that had them months when we were writing the grant may not have them today. Tomorrow we will go to market and get everything we can only get on market days. We’re trying to get as much as we can in Kérou, but we might have to go to Nati for some things. Luckily Constant has a conference there next week, so we’ll be able to get stuff in a timely manner.

In conclusion, we’re at the beginning stages, but everything is ready just to take off. I’m so excited, and will definitely start posting pictures as things start coming together.

Friday, 7 March 2014

I spent last weekend with volunteers, and had a fabulous time. I don’t think I’ve laughed that much in ages. We drank and danced, and spent an entire Sunday recovering. I invited my friend Mimi, who is also the friend of a former volunteer. She is different from many of the women here, in that she can actually hang out regularly. She is married, but her husband lives in Cotonou, with their oldest daughter. She has a son that is buried apparently not far from my house, and a young daughter. Mimi spends a lot of her time in Oussa, where her mom works at the health center. But her grandmother lives in Kérou, so that is how we know each other. Also, she is the niece of one of the individual gardeners I’ve worked with, Ibe. Since she has a large family, she can simply leave her child with a younger female relative, and go out and do whatever. That is not to say Mimi is a bad mother; she is very attentive to her child when she is at home, and her love is completely evident. She often brings her child with her as she goes around town, but it is nice for her to have the opportunity to let the child simply sleep at home. She wants to have one more child—a son—and then she says she will be finished with the child-bearing.

Mimi and I

So anyway, Mimi is awesome. I’m sad that she spends a lot of time in Oussa, because that means I don’t get to see her that much. She is always full of energy and positivity. As the other volunteers and I sat around hungover and lacking in any motivation to even move, she entertained us, first my drinking shots of some godawful Café Rum left over from the night before. She would tell jokes, she would talk about the night before. She seemed to make it her mission to entertain us, including pretending to “ride” the stuffed camel I had bought for her daughter from Togo, and inviting us along for the “trip”. In other words, she is absolutely crazy, as she just laughs and talks and says/does outrageous things, but doesn’t care what we think, as long as we’re laughing. It is absolutely terrifying, the amount of energy she can dispense, but I am really glad to know her.

So, after that crazy weekend, it is now Lent. I have decided to give up liquor. I think it will be really good, but very hard because we’re going into the Hot Season [Chaleur]. I have two exceptions: I can drink on my birthday, and also during my “Beat the Heat: Southern Style” dinner party in which I will make fried chicken and mac n cheese for friends, and I myself consume the entire bottle of Firefly Sweet Tea Vodka that my mother was kind enough to bring for me for America. Anyway, I think God will understand these two exceptions, and if not, oh well. Also, I am allowing myself to have a glass of wine, but only after sunset. And that’s just for the antioxidants, obviously.

I’m trying to get back into my workout regime [called Insanity]. I was really good about doing it until I started going on these vacations. But the other day, I was working out—not even a hard video, but a “recovery” workout—and I had so much sweat drip down my body that my fingers got wrinkled. Oops. I guess the problem was that the electricity was out, so I didn’t have a fan to help out. Sidenote: I might actually be insane.

The project with the irrigation system is pretty much done, except no one is actually using it yet. The fencing from the mayor’s office finally arrived, so according to Hubert I’m supposed to organize the women getting the fence set up, which is great because I understand so much Bariba, especially when it comes to fence installing vocabulary. Anyway, I’ll probably just end up kidnapping some random person to help translate. Or put Pierre in a really, really good disguise… I’m really excited to see everything come together. I feel bad, because the project could be so much better. I sincerely hope the community will continue to expand it after I’m gone. It’s just that other NGOs will have to see what I’m doing, and want to help out.

Unfortunately, I had to trade in my bike, because the seat situation was getting out of control. If you will recall, a few months ago, I mentioned that the seat-screw thing snapped in half. Since then, I got a new screw, but it hasn’t been perfect, meaning my seat just slides around, and that can get, well, uncomfortable, especially in the reproduction-area. So I’m in limbo now, waiting for my new bike, but hopefully that should arrive in less than a week. Then I will start going to Fétékou more, and seeing how all the gardening is going there, even if it is just through a bunch of sign language.

My project with Constant is progressing nicely. In fact, the vast majority of the money has been spent, so now we’re just waiting for things to start growing. All that really remains is the funds for the cornfield, which we can’t even start until June, when the rainy season begins. I just want to reiterate how much I enjoy working with Constant. There were some things where the price changed to be more expensive, and even though I eventually informed him that I had extra money [I think due to the conversion rate into CFAs], he insisted on getting the parents to contribute. He explains to me that he needs to “train” the parents into parting with their money occasionally, to better the school. That way, in the future, when I’m gone, he won’t have problems getting help with further improvements.

One example of this was that firstly, because you wonderful people gave me more money than I originally requested, we decided to cement the inside of the school [walls and floor], which makes it sturdier and more easy to clean, and thus more hygienic. However, we didn’t have enough money to pay the mason, so Constant is getting the parents to contribute to that cause. But for now, we have nice new walls, and an actual blackboard! The floor will be coming shortly. Additionally, all of the school desks are finished; they are simply awaiting to be transported [not exactly an easy feat].

We also got some simple supplies from market, such as plastic containers for water. Now the kids can get drinks right in the classroom.

We also went and got seeds for the garden, and we got the supplies [rake, shovel, watering cans, etc] from Natitangou. The children constructed a fence made of simple bamboo-like materials, and have started the garden. It’s only in its beginning stages, obviously. I think it’s really cute the way it’s been organized, which is that two children are each responsible for one gardening bed, which contains one or two plants. They even have little signs that mark their names.

Constant outside the garden

The garden beds; freshly sown

The chicken coop is under construction. Originally, we had thought of making the entire enclosing wall of grillage, but now the community has built the first meter height out of mud. This significantly cuts our cost for the screen, so we’ll be able to use the extra money for other costs, relating to the chickens or the garden or something.

I am really content with how this project is going! It’s really progressing faster than I can imagine, and I can’t wait to see how it keeps going in the upcoming months.

I just wanted to say thank you to everyone again for your contributions. This has been an amazing project to work on, and it simply would not have been possible without you.

I shall end with a little funny story for you. The other day a guy comes by to collect my monthly water payment (guys, my water costs $1/month, haha). As he’s standing there on the threshold, this huge mouse/rat (probably 4-5 inches long) decides this is the perfect time to climb up the side of my doorway. I scream, and this guy reacts instinctively and tries to smash the little rodent. However, what he actually did was essentially spike the rat to fly past my face and into my house. Luna, who is apparently entitled to be sleeping at all hours because a) she’s a cat; and b) she’s pregnant., misses all this. However, the water-man and my neighbor both rush into my house and start looking for it, ready to kill. I pick up Luna, because I’m afraid she’ll see the mouse, try to go after it, and some death blow intended for the mouse will hit her instead. However, the mouse escapes and streaks into my back room. This room is currently a complete mess, and may or may not have dirty underwear on the floor. In other words, no place for random Beninese men to venture. However, since Luna’s interest is finally perked, I send her in after it, and tell the guys thanks, but my cat will take it from here. Eventually she does take care of it, and I move her outside to eat it. So that’s one less rat bothering me, yay. I still laugh every time I remember the guy just swiping it into my room. Oh, the life I lead.

Monday, 10 March 2014

The Universe is awesome. Magnificent. Ironic. Just. I don’t even know all the words to describe it, I’m just so stoked. This feeling probably won’t last. But I got advice once from a fellow Peace Corps Volunteer that said to just embrace whatever you’re feeling. If you’re depressed, go with it. Go home, cry, take a cold shower, pitter around in your pity for a day or so until you realize you’re tired of it, and then it’s easier to move on. So I’m just going to envelop myself in this feeling of validation and elation I feel until life somehow manages to knock me down a few pegs.

So it begins yesterday evening, when I attended a meeting with Hubert and Raili. Of course, I was never informed of this meeting, as I believe Hubert and I have adopted a little-as-possible contact policy with each other. But Raili was dropped off at my house after her morning work, so she was there to inform me, and we went to the meeting together.

I had heard recently that Hubert was talking badly about me behind my back. He has said that I am lazy, and that I refuse to work. Plus I don’t respect him. Okay, I will admit that last one is true. I have absolutely zero respect for him. And I don’t pretend to have any when I’m around him. Here, it’s really culturally inappropriate to be direct. For example, if you have a problem with someone, you’re not supposed to approach them. You go to their friends or supervisors, whatever, and the message will get back to them. For me, I see that as very sneaky. Plus I have never been able to stop myself from rolling my eyes or having a look of incredulity on my face when someone is being an idiot. So Hubert is very aware of the fact that I dislike him, and for that he dislikes me. I don’t exactly mind that Hubert calls me lazy (HATERS GONNA HATE), because everyone else in village that I know tells me I work TOO much. They come to my house and I’m surrounded by papers, tapping away on my computer, or I’m off overseeing the installation of an irrigation system…

So anyway, yesterday evening, Hubert starts off the meeting saying he wants Raili and I to come up with a list of stuff that we’ve been doing so it can go in the “archives” of the mayor’s office. In twenty years, people will know that Peace Corps once upon a time did things in Kérou. So he asks me to list everything I’ve done. I start, and it takes a long time. AND it fills up an entire page in his notebook. He looks at it and says, “Wow, you’ve done so much. If everyone in Kérou worked this much, we would already be developed.”

At this point my inner self is punching the air and beating my chest, thinking, “Yeah, that’s right! Tell me I’m lazy to my face, I DARE YOU!” On the outside, I’m just trying to suppress a smirk.

Then, the best part comes, as Hubert launches into a story. Apparently he was in Kongorou the other day, when the Delegué (some sort of political entity, but for a small village) stops and actually follows him to the edge of the village, walking alongside his moto. This guy is asking what happened to me, why haven’t I been back, and when am I going to be starting this chicken-raising project? He wants this activity to happen, as obviously having a huge chicken operation will be a boon to his community.

So now Hubert realizes that in order to keep this delegate’s support and encourage, say the people of Kongorou, to vote for Hubert’s party, he actually must help me see this project through. So now, suddenly, after shutting down the project, he wants it to happen. And quickly. So now I’m back to smirking at the irony of politics. And that maybe, just maybe the commune of Kérou will be able to overlook politics to move forward. Then I realize, of course it’s all politics. The delegate wants political support in his community with a new chicken coop introduced under his reign. Hubert wants the support of the Delegate and his constituents. Apparently someone needs to send me the second season of House of Cards so I can learn all about this backhanded political movements and such.

But anyway, politics seems to be working in my favor for the time being, without me having ever raised a hand. I’m a little nervous as to how this might play out, so I’m keeping Peace Corps updated, and seeing what they recommend for Raili and I to do. In fact, it seems unlikely that I will actually be the one to follow through on this project; it will probably be all Raili. I am leaving too soon.

I didn’t have much time, because Hubert shows up at my house this morning, and we go to Kongorou. There we meet up with Pierre (is this awkward? I can’t tell), and two other guys from the group I’ve been working with. We march to the site, write out the boundaries (i.e. to the north is the Gbriboum family property). Hubert drops this paper off at the mayor’s office to have the secretary type up an official property-deed thing. So maybe this is really a thing?

Anyway, when I write my African version of Game of Thrones, there will definitely be a scene where the Premier Adjoint of Brignimaro and the Delegué of Kongorou duel. If the P.A. wins, Pierre gets being beaten to death, and if the Delegué wins, then Pierre becomes a Knight, his title including the gift of a farm that has goats, chickens, etc already installed, AND he gets to keep sleeping with the P.A.’s neice. This is as far as my understanding of politics goes.

Friday, 14 March 2014

Happy Birthday to me. I’m currently in a volunteer workstation. This time in Kandi, a city that I have not mentioned before, as I have never been here. It’s actually [slightly] closer to Kerou than Nati, however, it is further north, and thus more out of the way. Plus Nati is a prettier, more well-equipped city. But Kandi is nice, and the workstation is cool. This weekend is an official relax/rejuvenate weekend put on by the “Peer Support Network” for volunteers. Since it coincided perfectly with my birthday, I thought I may as well take the opportunity to enjoy myself with other volunteers. I got here and got some internet-requiring work done, plus of course the obligatory binge on social media, but soon I will be off to enjoying myself.

Update:

I did enjoy myself. Mostly I sat around with other volunteers. We ate good food, listened to music, played games, and so on. At one point, I ended up playing the “cup game” where you clap and pat the table to a rhythm, while moving and banging on a cup, then pass it along. Raili already knew the game too [I think we both learned it at different summer camps]. We taught it to two other volunteers, and played that until our hands got sore.

Additionally, I am planning a “girls’ camp” for July. This is a mini-camp where we choose students from our local school to go. They do activities just like one might do in a summer camp. I am working on it with people from my area. This includes—obviously—Maria and Raili. Ally [the girl who ALSO went to College of Charleston] lives not too far away. She has already done a girls camp before. The four of us are the main ones planning it, even through there are also two guys in our area that will hopefully be involved as well. It’s funny how much my time spent as a counselor at Mar-Lu-Ridge prepared me for Peace Corps. I mean, in general, it’s been helpful in dealing with worse living conditions, as well as working with a group of idealists, learning to be a leader, etc. And now I’m literally planning a mini-summer camp. Raili, Maria, Ally and I spent some of our time together planning it this weekend, so I’m really excited about it.